How a working mother finds a balance
Nowadays, women are becoming more and more capable. In the workplace, it is extremely popular to fight and take care of children. People often praise these women for being like a superwoman.
In fact, in the hearts of these superwoman working mothers, the sweetness and bitterness are difficult to tell, and the feeling of “losing one another” makes them somewhat confused.
On the one hand, it is dependent on your baby, and on the other hand, the work that depends on survival. How should I choose?
How to face it?
The reporter found that many working mothers face such a problem.
Both work and children are at the same time, both contradictory and regretful, but also helpless.
Advantages: When a strong woman has a baby, Lara was originally a strong woman in her career, but she is thirty years old and it is time to have a baby.
After becoming pregnant, Lara didn’t dare to say that she was afraid that she would be transferred to a job she had already done.
But then my stomach grew bigger and bigger, and finally I had to face change.
When the company leader learned about Lara ‘s situation, he first expressed his “congratulations”, and then transferred another colleague to take over Lara ‘s job.
Lara was transferred to a marginal position until now.
The child is three years old, but Lala seems to be no longer able to see her early days, feeling a little gray.
“Is there really only one choice between a child and a career as a woman?
Helplessness: Sarah returned to her original “PR Manager” position after she gave birth to her baby with an ambitious red light.
Her work needs to go out for entertainment often, but now the baby is only more than six months old, Sara is not well rested at night, as a result, her physical strength and memory are not as good as before, her body shape has also changed, and Sara’s confidence has also deformed.
Sara told reporters: “Many people used to envy me for being smart, smart, and successful, but who am I now?
Slow head, forgetfulness, bloated figure-I feel bad whenever I look in the mirror.
“As a result, although Sara worked hard as always and wanted to perform at work, she still missed every opportunity for promotion.
Hard work: Amei’s son, who is busy at both ends, is now 2 years old. As a new mother who has to work and take care of her children, Amei feels very hard.
“The child’s grandma helped me during the day, and I brought it with me after work at night, eating, drinking, eating fruit, playing games, bathing, and sleeping . a series of things made me tired to get down every day.
But life forced me to get up early the next day, help my son get dressed, wash his face, eat breakfast, and then hurried to work.
The hardships can only be felt by myself.
Amei deeply understood the meaning of the old saying “raising children to know their parents”, but she often felt tired too much.
Regrets: I didn’t take good care of my child. I can only see my baby girl when I go home on the weekends.
When her daughter was only three months old, Maggie returned to work.
Initially, Maggie was troubled by the lack of a suitable nursery: whether public or private childcare institutions can accept very few babies up to the age of two, and the conditions may not be satisfactory.
Later, a nursery finally accepted her daughter, but after her daughter entered, she contracted chickenpox.
Coupled with “separation and worry”, “parent-child attachment” . Although Maggie is in the company, she can feel that she owes her baby.
Expert opinion: Working mothers should do a good job of psychological construction. In psychological counseling, I have found that many working mothers will experience psychological anxiety and depression. In fact, this is normal.
Dr. Zhang told reporters: “When there are very significant changes in life, everyone needs an adaptation process.
The pressure of survival in modern society and the development needs of women themselves are expanding. More and more women must work hard and take care of their children.
Faced with the situation of “taking care of this and losing the other”, working mothers can carry out effective psychological construction by themselves.
Step One relaxes and rectifies the mood: If working mothers are always troubled by this “losing one another” emotion, it is difficult to really solve the problem.
Experts suggest that working mothers must first rectify their moods when constructing self-psychology.
“I recommend a breathing method to help relax.
In 120 minutes, working mothers can do such a relaxation activity that helps the brain decompress: Inhale, hold your breath and exhale as one breath to relax. Their golden ratio is 1: 4: 2. I usually take everyone to do two inhalations.The eight-shot breath-holding method, the better way is 3: 12: 6.
Breathing in this way can greatly reduce the pressure in the body.
While taking a deep breath, you must keep your brain focused and think about nothing. In this way, it is easy to adjust the physical condition you worry about back to normal. Working mothers can clear up some stress and thoughts in the process and complete the steps of psychological construction.
Step Two: Positively face change: Now that you have become a “working mother,” you must actively face change.
Experts advise working mothers not to demand too much of themselves. “If you usually ask 90 points for yourself, because after all you have become a mother, during the period of pregnancy or the child needs special care, just ask for 80 or 70 points.
In fact, although now lowering their requirements, it does not mean that it will always be the case.
Working mothers also need to have a development perspective on their situation.
“From another perspective, working mothers may not be completely” missing one another. ”
Studies have shown that full-time moms also have advantages and disadvantages for a mother’s physical health.
I suggest that “full-time moms” also only do 8 hours, so “working moms” actually have more social support resources.
In addition, after being a good mother, working mothers will have a stronger sense of responsibility at work for their children’s future and it will be more difficult for them to change jobs.
Step 3 Do more communication: Experts say that when conducting psychological construction, it is also very important to do more communication.
“For your husband, if you need his help and love, just express it directly, because men usually have a lot of work pressure, and when they return home, it is actually difficult to observe the emotions of their loved ones very carefully. If you can remind them, These new fathers will also inevitably jump out.
Dr. Zhang said, “A new mother likes a brooch very much and sticks it to her every time she is unhappy.
At this time, her husband would come over and say, ‘dear, you are the most beautiful mother.
‘This is actually a good expression.
According to experts, working mothers can establish triple communication relationships: one is intimate relationships; the other is the same target (support group); the other is the target of assistance (experts). If there are experts and doctors, friends can call at any time.I think working mothers can relieve their emotions to a great extent.
What can we do to help working mothers?
Supplemental nutrition loss: According to Chen Dunjin, director of the Guangzhou Institute of Obstetrics and Gynecology, in fact, many psychological problems of working mothers are caused by the lack of certain nutrients in the brain.
“After pregnancy, the mother’s physiology begins to face tremendous pressure and challenges, and generally decreases in strength, responsiveness, and memory. This situation may continue for about three years after the child is born.
Failure to pay attention to improving from supplementing essential nutrients will trigger more emotional stress and create a vicious circle.
“Professor Chen advises working mothers to supplement effective DHA.
“Data show that DHA loss in pregnant and lactating women is very serious, at the lowest it is only equivalent to 38% of normal DHA in non-maternal women.
Working mothers can achieve this through a combination of daily diet and taking pure DHA preparations.
“Promote social goodwill: In an interview with reporters, Dr. Zhang also advocated the support of the whole society for working mothers.
“Social support has a great effect. In psychology, this is called a ‘support team’.
If there is more understanding and goodwill for working mothers in the workplace and in the social environment, it will greatly encourage these working mothers, and it will also be conducive to family and social harmony.